As a peak performance coach, I have had the opportunity to work with many highly successful organizations ran by extremely successful individuals. And what I have found to be one of the most common traits that all of these successful individuals’ posses was this; they all take 100% responsibility for their lives and everything in it. That includes their success, their failures and their attitude. And because they take 100% responsibility, they never blame or complain about anyone or anything that’s going on in their lives. It’s an amazing experience just to be around these people.

The reason they take responsibility is very clear;   if they were to blame or complain, then they would be choosing a victims mentality. However, successful people choose to be in control of their life. They choose to sit in the captains’ seat and direct their lives path.

Successful people live by the formula E+R=O, which stands for Event + Response = Outcome. The idea behind this is really quite simple. The E in life, the events that happen, like losing your job, going bankrupt, the death of a loved one, the state of the economy, or someone doing something you don’t like, has nothing to do with your outcomes or the result you experience. If they did, then everyone would experience the same outcomes to the same events. But that’s not the case. Two people can easily experience two completely different outcomes to the exact same event.

That’s because events never equal the outcome. Instead, outcomes are created by how we respond to the events that happen in our life. When an event occurs in the world, you can’t blame the event; that’s just the world being worldly. Things happen. And when people do things you don’t like, you can’t blame them, that’s just people being people. You can’t control them. When you blame the events or other people, what you are doing is you are taking on a victim’s mentality.

There are two ways you can respond to events. One, you can react to the event by blaming it for your bad outcome, or, two, you can evaluate the event, and then, rather than use your emotions, use your mind to generate a response to it that will create the outcome you desire.

Successful people have learned to do just that. They evaluate the event, and then take the time to generate a response to it that will yield them the outcome they desire.

Let me give you an example; when I get home in the evening, I always ask my four year old daughter for a kiss, and sometimes she tells me no. Now I have two choices on how I can respond; I can either blame the event, her telling me no, for my bad outcome of not getting a kiss. Or, I can evaluate the event, her telling me no, and then, generate a response to it that will yield me the outcome I desire, which is getting a kiss.

For example, I might try saying, “Sierra, don’t you kiss me; I don’t like it when you kiss me. Ooh, get away.” What do you think she’s going to do? Sure, she’s going to inundate me with kisses. In fact, I will probably have to fight her off. My response created my outcome, not the event.

And that’s exactly how it is in real life. When events happen that you don’t like, don’t blame or complain. That’s focusing on the bad event and blaming it for you bad outcome. Instead, focus on the outcome you desire, and then generate a response to the event that will create the specific outcome you desire. Don’t react to it, respond to it.

This week, I want you to maintain focus on how you respond to the events that take place. Don’t react, but instead, take the time to evaluate the event, and think of how you can respond to it in order to create the positive outcome you desire. You’re never a victim unless you choose to be.

Remember, E+R=O; Event + Response = Outcome.

Until next time, I’m Jim Driscoll,
“The man on Fire for Your Success”

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